You're All I Want For Christmas
by Chikicha
Summary: There's only a couple days until Christmas, and Misty has still yet to understand her feelings for Ash. Will they both be able to fix their broken promises from the past?
1. Part 1

_**Part One**_

Crazy. I guess that was what you could call me. Or perhaps I was just another last-minute Christmas shopper racing through the store, only glancing once at all the ornaments and other presents to see if they would do. But of course they aren't good enough. They're just quick blurs of green and red. With it being only three days before Christmas, and with how desperate I was to find a present for just one single boy, you'd think the shopping bag banging against my side would be bulging with items. But with every frantic step I take, with every worried heartbeat that thuds in my chest, it just seems to whisper _"Empty, empty, empty."_ into my mind, taunting me.

Okay, so it was three days before Christmas. But it didn't feel like that for me. For me Christmas was still weeks away. I know that sooner or later I'll wake up and realize, with a mix of shock and horror, that Christmas is tomorrow. But Christmas isn't tomorrow, at least, not at the moment. It was three days away. But why was I ignoring the fact that it was so close, that the clocks won't stand still for me, that my last seconds are continuing to tick by?

_Stupid me. Stupid Misty._ That's probably what you're thinking right now. Sometimes even I think that. Actually, I think that all the time.

Then perhaps with me thinking Christmas was weeks away, my shopping bag would be bulging from the desperate thoughts tugging away at my heart. But I'm just some silly little girl, just as desperate as all the other last-minute shoppers. But perhaps even more. Every time I turn my head to glance behind, wondering if I should give up, I see those big mud-brown eyes gazing down at me. _His_ eyes, I mean. Ash's eyes. Stupid, I know. It's not like we're in love or anything. He would never think of me that way.

"Misty, you are such a jerk. A total jerk!" I hissed under my breath at myself. But that's when a deep male voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Are you okay, miss?" A store clerk asked, stepping in front of me. I halted to a stop and continued staring at the ground for a moment. Then I slowly raised my head to glare into his eyes. He looked worried. He probably heard me muttering. Great, I'm even more of a jerk than I thought. Thanks, mister.

"Yea, I'm fine." I answered, managing to smile. But it was a weak smile. I hoped he couldn't see any of the hate hiding behind its fake wall of friendliness. Hate that was whispering _"Go away. Go away, you idiot."_ in my mind, clogging up my throat, trying to escape through my mouth. I could already feel the tip of my tongue tapping the words out. But of course I didn't say anything out loud.

The store clerk smiled back. "Last-minute Christmas shopping is stressful, huh?" He said. He seemed perfectly happy to completely waste all of my time.

I felt like replying back by saying "No, last-minute shopping for someone you love is stressful." but I didn't. Instead I just paused a moment to gaze at my tinted-red reflection in a Santa ornament hanging near-by. I was surprised to see a look of worry, stress, sadness, and desire all mixed into one in my eyes. Strands of hair had fallen out of my side-ponytail and were now lying limp at my shoulders. I looked like one big sweaty mess. But then of course, I was nothing special when I felt perfectly fine. I was Misty. That was all. Nothing especially beautiful.

"I guess." I finally replied, sighing.

The store clerk glanced at his watch. "Well, the store closes in five minutes, so you better hurry." He warned.

_'Exactly. So why are you wasting all of my time?'_

I continued to smile that fake smile of mine. "Yes... so I better get going. Bye." I quickly said, whirling around the run the other way. I hope he didn't see my smile just barely twist into a frown as I did that.

I probably should've given up all hope of finding something for Ash in those last five minutes. But of I course I didn't. How could I, with those desperate thoughts swarming through my mind like that? Maybe I should've given up all of my hope of finding any present at all anywhere in those last three days. But of course I didn't. Of course.

_'Stupid me. Stupid Misty.'_

It's amazing how quickly five minutes can go by and just disappear. The same store clerk appeared behind a near-by aisle. "Well, your five minutes are up." He said, winking. "We have to close the store for now. But don't worry, you can always come back tomorrow!"

My heart sank. _"But don't worry."_ That was what the store clerk had said. Yea, like I really wasn't going to worry at a time like this. How could I not when an image of Ash's gleeful smiling face appeared in my mind everywhere I went? I felt like I was going to throw up.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Okay then. Bye." And with that I slowly walked over to the doors leading to the bitter outside world. As I carefully zipped up my coal-black leather coat, I couldn't help thinking _'Well, there goes one store. Now let's go on with the next hundred of them.'_ I grimaced. That was how it had been everyday in the past month. How come it wasn't like this last year, or the year before that? _Why?_ But I already knew the answer.

_Ash._ And then there was the stupid, idiotic me.

I breathed in the fresh brisk air as I trudged my way through the damp streets of Pallet Town, carelessly kicking dirty clumps of snow now and then. It had snowed a little more than a week ago. Most of it had melted since then, revealing an ugly sight. What snow that was left had been blackened from cars racing by. I felt emotionless and empty inside as I continued to walk towards the house I had been staying in for the past month. The sight of pearl-white snow told me I had finally reached my destination. I gazed up at the house in which Ash lived in. It was very nice of his mother to let Brock and I stay here for Christmas. In fact, it was so nice that I want to kill her guts. Did she not know how tortured I was staying, practically living, in the same house as Ash?! Obviously.

I sighed, and then with one cold trembling finger, rang the doorbell. I just stood there for a moment, waiting, watching my frozen breath waft through the air with tired eyes. I jumped ever so slightly as the door opened, revealing Ash's mother, Delia. Her brown hair was pushed back into a loose ponytail.

At the sight of me, Delia's face grew into a wide, friendly grin. "Welcome back, Misty! You must be freezing! Come on in." And with that she stood to the side, watching me stomp into the house and carelessly kick off my boots. "Would you like some hot chocolate with marshmallows?" She asked.

"No thanks." I muttered. I walked down the long hallway, staring intently at the ground. Ash and Brock were having a discussion about something around the corner. At the sound of Ash's determined voice, my heart sank even lower with that block of guilty feeling that seemed to be trying to drown me. I walked past the two companions without even glancing at them.

"Hi Misty!" Ash said, grinning. My heart leapt to my throat. If only I could get up to the guest room I was staying in upstairs, if only I could get there right away. I didn't think I could talk to Ash. Not right now. If I did I thought I was going to scream.

That was why I continued my way down the hall and up the stairs, not a single word coming from my mouth, continuing to not look at both Ash and Brock. I probably should've said something to him. To Ash, I mean. Something, _anything_. But of course I didn't. How could I? I'd probably make a fool of myself in front of him, like I usually did everyday. That was me, Misty. Just a sick, foolish, and ugly girl.

The low thuds of my heavy footsteps against the worn carpet of the stairs could just barely be heard over the soft, low whispering coming from downstairs. Great, Ash and Brock were talking about me. They had to be talking about me. Great, just great. I really should've talked to Ash. But I didn't.

I shoved open the door to the guest room and slammed it shut behind me. Sighing, I collapsed onto the fresh sheets of the bed, my arms spread out wide. Underneath the bed were presents already wrapped for various friends and relatives, but not a single one was for Ash. I felt horrible, like I was going to throw up. I closed my eyes. _Will it ever end?_ I wanted these last three days to go by slowly so I could buy a present for Ash, yet at the same time I wanted them to zip by, to be over with. These worries prevented me from falling asleep, tugging at my heart. But that's when I heard the door creak as it was slowly pushed open. I sat up straight to the sight of Ash standing in the doorway, his eyes holding a soft, fragile emotion. My breath was taken away as he sat on the bed next to me. I had forgotten to lock the door.

"Are you feeling okay, Misty?" Ash asked in a soft whisper. "You don't seem too well."

I gazed up into his eyes for a moment. Those eyes were always in my mind wherever I went, and now here I was, staring at the real thing. Millions of emotions seemed to be sparkling, hidden in that mud-brown color. One of them shined more than the others. _Concern._ Was Ash truly concerned about me? I turned away. I couldn't bare to face those eyes of his any longer.

"Yea, I'm fine." I answered. Which, I really was. At least, I thought I was.

There was silence for a moment. I couldn't see Ash's face. I wondered if his expression had changed at all. I probably shouldn't have turned away. I probably shouldn't have.

"Don't lie to me, Misty."

Great, just great. His voice sounded darker now. I really shouldn't have turned away. It was the wrong thing to do. Now he thought I was lying to him when I really wasn't. I felt perfectly fine. But then why did I have the sudden urge to fling my arms around him, to cry against his shoulder, to tell him everything?

Maybe it was because I couldn't tell him everything. Yes, that was it.

Taking a deep breath, I turned my head to once again look into his eyes. I didn't try searching for any certain emotions in fear of feeling sick again. "No, really. I feel fine." I said. I smiled. I hope my voice didn't sound small and frightened. I hope my smile didn't look weak with fake written all over it. I hoped.

"Oh, okay." Ash said. Good. I must have looked alright. "Just checking on you."

Wait... was that a hint of _disappointment_ in his voice?! I felt the anger surge through my body as my gaze turned into a glare. Did he actually _want_ me to feel sick? Well then, he was doing a pretty darn good job of it! Perhaps that emotion I saw in his eyes earlier really wasn't concern at all. I waited for Ash to stand up from the bed, to wave goodbye and finally walk out the door, but he just continued sitting there next to me. But one thing was different. He wasn't looking at me anymore. I tried to meet his stare but failed. Even more anger swarmed through me. I had to let it out.

"Well, what are you waiting for?!" I snapped. "Aren't you going to leave?"

I think me suddenly snapping at Ash surprised him, no, shocked him. He looked into my eyes once again. But I didn't like what I saw this time. He looked hurt, _really_ hurt. That same big block of guilty feelings weighed down my heart once again. Why did I have to get angry at him like that? But then the same question I had before swarmed through my mind. Why did Ash sound disappointed when I told him I was fine? Perhaps what I heard in his voice really wasn't disappointment at all. At least, I hope it wasn't.

"Oh... er, yea. I'll leave now." Ash muttered, staring at the ground. "Sorry Misty." And with that he stood up from the bed and trudged out of the guest room, quietly closing the door behind him. I wanted to shove the door open, to come running after him, to apologize to him, but I didn't. I couldn't. Instead I just sighed, my sigh coming out as half a quiet sob, and buried myself underneath the fresh sheets of the bed. I urged myself not to start crying, even thought I was alone. For I continued to keep the door unlocked, wondering if Ash would come back in. But he didn't. Not a sound could be heard as I finally buried my head into the pillow and shut my eyes tightly, drifting off to an unsteady sleep.

_**You walk in through the through the door,  
Step onto the floor,**_

_**Look into my eyes,  
Which hold so many lies.**_

_**Do you love me, or do you love me not?**_


	2. Part 2

_**Part Two**_

"Misty, wake up."

I blinked my eyes open wearily, squinting in the bright morning sunlight. Yawning, I sat up to the blurry sight of Brock waiting impatiently by the side of my bed. Had I really slept through the whole afternoon and night? I paused a moment to continue gazing intently out the window. Yes, I guess so.

"Misty," Brock repeated. "Get up. Ash wants to go on a little walk with you and me."

"This early in the morning?" I groaned. "What an idiot." Yet I still got up from the bed, stretching, and straightened my hair out in the mirror. But I saw something in my eyes... an emotion. I paused for a moment and felt my heart leap to my throat. _Yesterday._ A clear image of that hurt look in Ash's eyes was still swarming through my mind. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. No, Ash wasn't the idiot. I was.

"Misty, are you okay?" Brock asked.

I whirled around. I had completely forgotten Brock was still there. "Yea, I'm fine." I answered, smiling wearily. "Just a little tired."

Brock cast me one last worried glance before walking out of the room and quietly shutting the door behind him. I sighed. If I wanted to get away from that guilty feeling inside my heart, I'd have to apologize to Ash. Today. Today, during the walk. My heart raced. I wasn't sure if I could do it. Especially since Brock was going to be listening to the whole thing.

Trying to ignore these worries, I put on my boots and zipped up my coal-black leather coat and then trudged my way downstairs where Ash and Brock were waiting for me impatiently. I looked into Ash's eyes to see if the same hurt look that had been haunting me was still there. But all I could make out was happiness. I want to shout out in glee, to fling my arms around him, but I didn't. I couldn't. At least this would make the apology easier. But as I met Ash's gaze, I hastily turned to look in a different direction.

"Glad you're here, Misty. Lets all go outside now." Ash said, smiling. He looked down as something small and yellow nudged his leg. His Pikachu. Of course. He laughed. "You're going to stay here while we go on the walk Pikachu, remember?" Ash reminded the electric mouse. Pikachu gave him one last stare before running off. Then all three of us stepped through the front door, out into the bitter cold outside world.

Though just like everywhere else there wasn't much snow left, what was left of it was a pearl-white color here. An image of the blackened snow surrounding the main stores raced through my mind, making my heart sink. I'd have to continue my search for a present for Ash today. Now Christmas was only two days away. I breathed in the fresh morning air.

"So, why did you want to go on this walk this morning?" I asked slowly, carelessly kicking a near-by clump of snow. Perhaps he wanted to talk to me about something? Something important? My heart leapt to my throat. Maybe I wouldn't have to apologize to him at all.

"Oh, you know. Just wanted to talk with my two buddies for a little bit outside before all the rest of the snow melts." Ash answered, smiling.

Stupid me. Stupid Misty. Of course he didn't want to talk to me about something important. He wouldn't have brought Brock along if he did want to talk. I stared at the ground.

Wait a second... _buddies_? I raised my head to look into his eyes. Was that what he thought of me? Just another one of his little friends? I felt a familiar anger once again surge through my body. I tried my best not to let my gaze become a glare. I can't snap at him... no, not now. Not when I still had to apologize to him, not when that depressed hurt look was still in my mind. Besides, you can't blame him for calling me his buddy. I mean, that's better than nothing, right? He couldn't think of me in any other way. And he never will, either. _'Just face it, Misty.'_

That's when I felt something dripping cold sting my cheek. I stood there, gawking at Ash, and rose my hand to touch my cheek. _Snow._ I looked at Ash's gloves. Snowflakes were stuck here and there between the loose red threads. I gritted my teeth while Ash just continued to stand there with a wide grin on his face.

"Why you... you..." I said. I didn't care that I wore no gloves or mittens, I didn't care that the snow made my fingers numb. I didn't care about anything at that moment, only that I felt myself reach down, grab a chunk of snow a chuck it at Ash, who ducked just in time.

"Haha! You missed!" He shouted, continuing to grin. But his eyes filled up with a sudden coldness as a snowball hit him on the back. We both turned to face Brock. I was shocked. These years Brock usually didn't get into snowball fights. Yet there he was, standing there with the same dumb grin Ash had before etched on his face. But the pause didn't last long. There we were, two seventeen-year-olds and one twenty-four-year-old acting like little kids, having a snowball fight. Having the time of our lives. Stupid, I know. But sometimes it feels good just to let those worries drift away from your mind and replace them with the simple joys you had as a child.

_Worries._ That's when I remembered the apology I had planned to give Ash during the walk. Oh well. Ash seemed to be having a great time, and so was I. Perhaps this moment that we're having together right now makes up for when I snapped at him before. A sudden thought drifted through my head, though. _'But does this make up for when you heard a hint of disappointment in Ash's voice before?'_ A voice taunted in my mind. I thought it over, gazing at Ash's happy grinning face.

Yes, yes it does.

I had paused for too long. A clump of snow hit me smack dab in the middle of my face, causing me to scream and stubble over into some snow behind me. I just laid there with my arms outstretched and my eyes closed, listening to the Ash and Brock's laughter. After a few seconds of breathing in the brisk cold air, my eyes flashed open to reveal the sight of the blinding sun. My face was emotionless and my eyes gazed at nothing. Brock stopped laughing, sensing something was wrong. Oh how right he was.

"This is just like six years ago." I whispered softly. Ash grew silent, staring out into space. Brock just stood there, gazing at both of us. Of course. What else could he do? He wasn't there. But Ash was. Of course he was. That's why he remembered. That's why both of us would always remember that one simple moment six years ago.

_My laughter echoed through the cold brisk morning air as I continuing running through the snow-covered streets, stumbling, trying not to fall. Ash was just right behind me, him too laughing. I could just imagine the big grin etched on his face. I could even almost feel his hot breath on the back of my neck. But then it was gone. I turned around to face Ash, who had paused to kneel down near the snow in the grass. I couldn't see his eyes. Good. I was now far ahead of him._

_"What's the matter? Too tired to run?" I teased. Ash slowly raised his head to meet my gaze, a big wide grin on his face, his eyes shining with excitement. Great, just great._

_"No way. But soon YOU might be too COLD to run." Ash said. He raised his arm and then chucked a snowball directly at my face. I just stood there, gawking, unable to avoid it. That's when it happened. I felt the snowball smack my face with its coldness, water dripping down my cheeks. I fell over into the snow behind me. I just sat there for a moment, staring out into space. Ash just stood there, gazing at me, waiting for what I would do next._

_I laughed._

_And laughed, and laughed, and laughed. I couldn't control my laughter as I leaned back to lie down in the snow. Simple joys of life, that was all it was. I was having the time of my life. Only after a few seconds later when the laughter suddenly got louder did I realize Ash was laughing too. No, he wasn't laughing at me, but instead, with me. My heart seemed to flutter on wings. Then Ash collapsed next to me and our laughter died down. Silence wafted through the air._

_Finally, Ash spoke up. "Misty, are you having a good time?" He asked softly. I gazed into his eyes for a few seconds._

_"Are you crazy? I'm having a great time!" I replied, grinning. Ash smiled back._

_"Well that's good." He said. The shattered silence slowly came back as we just continued sitting there. I sighed._

_"Ash, do you promise nothing will ever change? Do promise everything will stay as it was this year?" I asked softly. Ash blinked at me._

_"What do you mean?" He asked._

_"I mean, when Brock is with us again... when all three of us are together, let's say, um, six years later. Do you promise me that six years later we'll all still be great buddies with each other- _

_"What do you mean, 'buddies'?" Ash interrupted. "We'll be more than just buddies six years later, you know." He smiled. I smiled back._

_"Yes, of course. But let me continue." I replied. "And do you promise that we won't hide anything from each other, always tell each other about any secrets hiding inside ourselves?" I finished. Ash paused for a moment._

_"But what if we already do hide secrets from each other?" Ash asked, staring at the ground._

_"Then you have to promise that things will actually change six years later and that we won't hide secrets from each other." I answered simply. Ash turned his head to gaze into my eyes once more. Then he smiled._

_"Of course, Misty. Things will change. I promise."_

Now here we were, six years later.

Nothing ever did end up changing.

But I guess I didn't help, either. There were plenty of secrets I was hiding from Ash. Like that fact that I hadn't bought him a single Christmas present yet even though Christmas was only two days away. And also the fact that I liked him, no, loved him. But of course I couldn't tell him that. Not right now, not when I knew he didn't think of me in that way. No, he just thought of me as his buddy. That was another thing that hadn't changed in the six years that had gone by. I was still simply Ash's buddy, nothing more, nothing less. We both broke a promise we made together. I guess I deserved it, though. Maybe, just maybe.

I took handful of snow, my hands numb, and threw it against my face, wincing. If I started crying, I didn't want anyone to notice, especially Ash. I wouldn't let myself be seen crying, because I was Misty. I was tough. But just then I realized it doesn't matter how tough you are. Sadness is still the hardest emotion to hide, and it would always stay that way. Always.

Through the corner of my eye I could see Ash staring out into space in silence. I wondered if he was feeling the same sadness as I was. Hoped he was, yet at the same time, I hoped he wasn't. I didn't want him to go through all the pain I had been going through these past days. But I still wanted to let him know he had made a promise, but broke it. Made it shatter into a million tiny little pieces of shimmering glass.

Brock cleared his throat, interrupting the deadly silence. "Er, why don't we walk back to your house, Ash?" Brock suggested, glancing at me. "I'm getting a little cold."

"Yea, sure. Whatever." Ash muttered, now staring at the ground. His voice shook when he spoke. Perhaps he really was feeling the same sadness I was feeling.

During the walk back to the house, Brock did all the talking. Ash and I just simply nodded time to time, not speaking, not looking at anything except for the damp ground beneath our feet. I didn't even bother to kick clumps of snow on our way there. I wanted to say something, _anything_, but was afraid my voice would shake too much and give my feelings I was trying to hide away. I now had to apologize to Ash for _two_ things. One was for snapping at him yesterday. The other was for breaking one simple promise we made six years ago. But it was too late to apologize to him now. If I tried, I was afraid I'd burst out sobbing. So of course I didn't. Of course.

Brock took a deep breath. "Well, we're here guys." He announced. I looked up, surprised to see Ash's house looming above us. I hadn't even noticed it before since I had been staring at the ground the whole time. Ash looked slightly surprised too. The three of us were greeted by Ash's mom as we stepped through the doorway. But Ash and Brock were the only ones that kicked off their boots.

"Hey, I'm going to go out shopping, okay?" I said. "I don't know how long I'll be gone." Great, just great. My voice shook as I spoke, just as I feared it would.

Brock tilted his head. "You've been out shopping a lot lately." He replied. "Are you sure you want to go right now?"

I nodded, staring at the ground. Then I whirled around to face the outside world. "Well then, bye." I said softly. I quickly closed the door and then sighed in relief. Finally, I had time to be alone with myself.

Ash hadn't said anything at all when I was saying goodbye. He didn't even glance at me.

That's when I realized I wouldn't be alone on this trip. I hadn't been alone for the whole month. Hundreds of worries about Ash were constantly swarming through my mind, drowning my heart. No, I was never alone. There were always those worries wherever I went. I couldn't get away from them, I never will. Not until Christmas is over.

"Misty, you are such an idiot. An idiot!" I hissed under my breath at myself. What a fool I was to think the worries about getting Ash a Christmas present on time were the only worries I had. Of course I had more. Like about the broken promises from the past, and even the present. And most of all, what Ash thought of me. I love him. But what does he think of me? Well, I was just his buddy. That's all. I'm just Misty.

After walking awhile, I just stood there, staring at the stores that stood before me. I sighed and then leaned against a light pole. Perhaps I should just give up. Perhaps I shouldn't just give up on getting Ash a Christmas present, but I should also give up on getting Ash. But then again maybe not. I had been traveling with him for seven whole years. First he wasn't that good of a pokemon trainer. Now look at him. A regular pokemon master. He's come a long way, and so have I. Both pokemon wise and friendship wise.

That's when a group of carolers came along singing Christmas carols. They wore thick heavy coats of green and red and happy smiles were etched on all of their faces.

_"Deck the halls with bounds of holly,   
Falalalala,lala,la,la!  
Tis the season to be jolly,   
Falalalala,lala,la,la!..."_

I watched them walk on through the town street, continuing to sing. Their voices seemed to echo through the air. I sighed. Yea, like I was really going to feel jolly during this Christmas season.

Then they started. The tears, I mean. _My_ tears. To whom else could they belong to?

I cried, and cried, and cried.


	3. Part 3

_**Part Three**_

_Morning air._ I continued to sit there, tilting the mug just far enough so I could sip the hot chocolate swishing inside it and let it's warm milky feeling run down the back of my throat. I sighed and set the mug back down on the table, gazing out the window. All the rest of the snow had finally melted. Looks like we wouldn't be having a white Christmas at all. Christmas. I had woken up early this morning, bright morning sunlight shining into the guest room. That was when I had suddenly realized with a mix of shock and horror that Christmas is tomorrow. It was just two days ago that I had told myself it would come down to this. But of course I had ignored these worries. Of course.

The sound of Brock's cheerful voice awoke me from my thoughts. "Oh, hi Misty. What are you doing awake?" He asked. "You've slept in for the past couple of days."

I slowly turned my head to the left to face him. "I woke up early to shop." I answered softly. "My shopping trip yesterday was a failure." _Yea, just like all my other shopping trips._ Brock just continued to stand there, gazing at me. He must have noticed the mixture of guilt and sadness in my voice. Great, just great.

Brock stepped closer to me. "Misty, ever since that walk we went on with Ash yesterday, you've seemed... depressed." He said. I paused for a moment. Should I tell him? Should I tell him everything, including my feelings for Ash? No. Of course not. It would just make everything worse.

"I'm not depressed, Brock. I'm really not. I feel fine." I said, turning away. That's when an image of me turning away from Ash two days ago raced through my mind. It had made him think I was lying. Except this time I really was lying. How could I not feel depressed when there was still a broken promise from six years ago, waiting to be fixed?

Brock sighed. Had he perhaps wanted me to finally admit something? "Fine then." He said. "But you know that if you have anything you want to talk about, you can talk about it with-

He paused for a moment, letting silence flood the air. I turned my head just enough to look into his eyes. Brock appeared to be deep in thought, gazing out the window before him.

"...With Ash." He finished slowly. I gawked at him. Did he suspect my feelings? I felt my heart leap to my throat. Was it really that obvious? If it was, surely Ash could tell too. I felt myself quickly rise up from the kitchen table with the mug of hot chocolate still in my hand. Hot chocolate spilled onto the floor as a huge thump sounded through the kitchen. But I ignored all of this, continuing to gawk at Brock. Brock hastily stepped back in surprise.

"Oh, I'm sorry Brock! I've just... well, I'm going to go upstairs." I said quickly. On the way to the hall I dumped the rest of my hot chocolate in the sink and set my mug down on the counter. The quick and unsteady thumps of my footsteps on the stairs seemed to shake the whole house. My mind was racing. I hardly felt myself finally reach the top of the stairs and frantically reach out to open the door to the guest room, only to halt to a stop at the sound of Ash's door opening. I sighed and let my arms rest at my side. I couldn't go away now.

"Misty, what's the matter?" Ash asked softly. I continued staring intently at him, considering the question. _'What's the matter?'_ A lot of things were the matter right now. One of them was Brock. I couldn't let him tell Ash about my feelings. If someone was going to tell him, it had to be me. Then perhaps I should've told him right then and there that I loved him. But of course I didn't. Instead I backed up the worry about Brock knowing my feelings for Ash.

"_You_ are the matter!" I answered, letting the anger surge through my veins. I didn't want Ash to believe Brock if Brock ever _did_ tell him about me. The moment that same hurt feeling from two days ago swarmed into Ash's eyes, I should've stopped and apologized to him for everything. But no, I just _had_ to continue. "You made a promise to me a long time ago that things would change. Now here we are, six years later, and nothing, _nothing_, has changed at all!" I continued, glaring at him, trying to keep myself from screaming my lungs out. "I'm just your buddy, that's all! Nothing more!" I hissed. "Oh, or maybe I'm less now, huh? Now that I've been shouting at you like this? I'm less now, right?"

There was a deadly silence. Then Ash spoke. "No, Misty. You're not less." He replied in a small voice. My heart sank in disappointment. Perhaps, if he became angry just like how I was now, it wouldn't matter if I got him a Christmas present or not. Then that would solve all of my troubles.

"I'm not?" I asked in a soft whisper. Ash nodded.

The door to Dellila's room opened. "I heard voices out in the hall and came to see what was wrong." I she said, concern filling up her eyes. Ash and I glanced at each other and then turned to face Ash's mom.

Ash took a deep breath. "Everything's fine, mom. Misty and I were just having a little chat."

A little chat. Yea right. And no, everything wasn't fine. It wasn't even close to being fine.

A wide grin formed on Dellila's face. "Well, that's good. We wouldn't want to be having any arguments the day before Christmas, now would we?" She said cheerfully.

My heart sank once more. "No, we wouldn't. Not on the day before Christmas." I muttered.

"Well then, let's all go downstairs, shall we?" Dellila said as she turned around to walk down the stairs. Ash and I slowly followed, not daring to look at each other. Downstairs we found Brock sipping hot chocolate at the kitchen table. At the sound of the three of us coming downstairs he set his mug down and stood up.

"Hi Ash and Mrs. Ketchum." Brock said, smiling. He turned to face me. "Misty, are you feeling better?" He asked. There was silence as Ash and his mom turned to stare at me.

"You mean you're sick?!" Dellila cried out.

I sighed. "No, Mrs. Ketchum. I'm fine, really. I was never sick." I said, starring at the ground. Through the corner of my eyes I could see Brock staring intently at me. Great, just great. I hoped my voice didn't sound too shaky.

Small quick sounds were heard coming from the hall as Ash's Pikachu ran towards us and then hopped into my arms. I smiled as the electric mouse nuzzled my blood-red sweater. I wanted to sigh in relief. I had been saved by Ash's Pikachu.

"Looks like Pikachu is excited for Christmas too, huh?" I said. I hoped that they wouldn't notice the quick subject change.

"Yea." Ash replied, grinning. Of course. When the topic switched to his Pikachu, he never noticed anything else. He said he didn't think of me less than a buddy, but he loves his Pikachu more than he does me. I know it. Maybe he likes Brock just as much, but not me.

Not stupid idiotic Misty.

* * *

I continued absent-mindedly poking the small pieces of ham on my plate with my fork, my head resting on my arm. I sighed for what seemed like the millionth time today and gazed out at the night sky. Through the corner of my eye I could see Brock, Pikachu, Ash, and Ash's mom waiting impatiently.

Dellila cleared her throat. "Well Misty, it seems like you're done eating. Shall we read the book?" She asked carefully. I let the fork fall down to the plate with a small clatter, and then slowly raised my head to face her.

"Yea, I guess." I answered in a mutter. We all got up from the table. Ash once told me this was a tradition that the Ketchum family had. On Christmas Eve they'd all eat ham, and then when they were all done eating they'd read "The Night Before Christmas" together on the couch. And when Ash still believed in Santa Claus they'd set out milk and cookies on the kitchen table.

Ash took his place on the far left corner of the couch. I just stood there for a moment, staring intently at him, and then chose to sit on the far right corner of the couch. Dellila and Brock took the middle, Brock on my side, and finally Pikachu hoped into Ash's lap and curled up into a tight yellow ball. Dellila opened the book and then began.

"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse." Dellila recited carefully. At this, Pikachu's ears perked up and the pokemon quickly raised its head. We all laughed. That is, except for me. I just continued staring at the wall ahead of me. Throughout the whole story I paid no attention to Dellila's words, only the harsh worries swarming through my mind. _Christmas is tomorrow._ Why, why did it have to be like this?

Before I knew what was happening, Dellila quietly shut the book. "Well, it's time to go to bed now." She said, smiling softly. "Christmas is tomorrow."

"Shouldn't we set out cookies and milk for me?" Brock grinned. "Er, I mean, Santa Claus?"

Dellila laughed. "Ash and Misty are too old for Santa Claus, you already know that. They're seventeen." She replied, putting her arm around her son. Ash just smiled. Was he perhaps feeling depressed, just like me? What was I supposed to do when I would be forced to open his Christmas presents tomorrow?

"Well then, I guess I'll just have to get cookies and milk myself." Brock said. "I'll get ready for bed in a minute." He told Ash and I. We just nodded and slowly walked upstairs, ignoring each other.

I thought of nothing except for the day ahead as I changed into my pajamas and brushed my teeth. As I flipped the light switch down with a small click and climbed into bed, that's when the thought suddenly occurred to me.

_I have to get Ash a Christmas present no matter what._

"Merry Christmas Eve." I whispered softly at the sky as I set my alarm clock for 1:00am.


	4. Part 4

_**Part Four**_

At the sound of my alarm clock ringing through my ears, I blinked sleepily and then slowly sat up in bed, stretching. I slapped the top of my alarm clock. Sighing, I collapsed back onto the bed and closed my eyes. Today was Christmas.

Why had I woken up at 1:00am on Christmas again? Oh yes. To buy Ash a Christmas present. Stupid me.

My eyes flashed open. I couldn't fall asleep. No, not now. Instead I urged my body to get up, forcing my arms to swing around and grab my clothes. I changed into them as quietly as I could, hardly daring to breathe. Then I ran my fingers through my tangled hair and pushed it back into a side-ponytail, not bothering to watch myself in the mirror.

I paused a moment in front of the door, my hand already reaching out to grab the doorknob. Would the door squeak when I opened it? Taking a deep breath, I took a hold of the doorknob with one trembling hand and twisted it, slowly pulling the door open. I winced as a long echoing squeak raced through the air and paused yet again. But no other movement could be heard throughout the house. I let the breath I had been holding the whole time out. For the first time in awhile I felt relief.

During the whole time I left all the lights off, letting the moonlight sparkling down on the milky-white carpet guide my way. Yet at the same time I could see small specks of shadows wafting down from the skies. I ignored these shadows and continued my way downstairs on tip-toe. The eerie silence seemed to be choking me. The only thing I could hear was the soft wind from outside brushing against the side of the house. The trip downstairs seemed to go on for miles, but before I knew it I was just standing there on the carpet, gazing out the windows. I gasped.

_It was snowing._

Sure, it had snowed here plenty of times before. But not like this. There was a little patch of crystal clear sky right in front of the moon, bathing the snow already on the ground in a sparkling white color. It almost seemed to glow. It was just a slightly heavy snowfall. Looks like we were going to have a white Christmas after all. How magical everything seemed at the moment.

I couldn't let the snowfall distract me though, for only one word trickled through my mind. _Ash._ And it was that one single word that made my legs carry me over to the closet. It was just that one word that made my arms reach out for my coat, gloves, scarf, hat, and boots. And then there I was, standing in front of the doorway. Only then did I realize people did some of the craziest things for those whom they loved. I guess I was on that list now too.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly reached my hand out to grab a hold of the doorknob of the front door. It was cold to the touch.

_Here goes nothing._

I quickly pulled open the door, revealing a huge gust of wind being pushed into my face. I winced. I hadn't expected it to be this cold. Did I really want to do this? _Ash._ Yes, yes I did. And that was why I closed the door behind me and took my first steps forward, into the snow. It almost shocked me how deep it was already. It was just a few inches away from my trembling knees.

If I thought the snowfall was magical from inside the house, it was nothing compared to actually standing there in it, looking up at the sky. My breath seemed to have been taken away as I listened to the silence. It was so quiet. Even the wind seemed to have suddenly died down.

"Get moving, Misty. The weather is only going to get worse the longer you wait." I hissed at myself. I forced my legs to keep carrying me through the snow, closer and closer to the stores near-by. There was one store I knew of that I was sure would be open at this hour, even if it _was_ Christmas. Crazy, I know. But I guess I seemed pretty crazy myself, trudging through the snow at one in the morning on Christmas. If it wasn't for Ash I would've turned back by now. Oh how I longed for him to comfort me, to put his arm around my shoulders, to whisper softly into my ear that everything would be alright soon. But he wasn't there, and he would never end up doing that unless I found a Christmas present for him. It was because of these thoughts that I hardly noticed the mixture of wind and snow sting my cheeks.

* * *

Ash wearily sat up in bed, blinking sleepily. He rubbed his restless legs, looking around the pitch-black room.

"Pikachu, are you awake?" He whispered into the darkness.

"Pika!" Came a weak reply from the corner of Ash's bed. Ash couldn't help smiling.

"You'd think I'd be able to sleep through the whole night now, with me being seventeen and all." He told the electric mouse. "But I guess I just can't help thinking about... things." He was going to say Misty, but decided not to. Why did she have to get so mad at him? _'I guess it's my fault, really. I broke a promise I made to her six years ago.'_ Ash sighed and stood up on the cold ground. He slowly trudged over to the window and brushed back the curtains. At the sight from outside, his breath was taken away. "See that, Pikachu? It's snowing outside." Ash said softly. Small quick thumps on the ground told him that his Pikachu had run across the ground to stare outside the window with him.

Ash then trudged back over to his bed, picking up the remote control to his TV on the way there. "I might as well check the weather since I won't be falling asleep any time soon." Ash muttered. Collapsing back onto his bed, he quickly surfed through the channels until he came to a weather station.

"Looks like we'll be having an unfriendly Christmas morning, folks." A male voice came from the flashing screen. "With a major cold front rushing in, temperatures will go a fair amount below zero. Big wind chills will make it even colder. The main part of the snowstorm will soon be coming in, maybe causing some white-out conditions. We suggest you stay in a sheltered area until the storm dies down at about 2:30am."

"Wow, a blizzard." Ash murmured. Now there was even less of a chance that he would fall asleep. He laid his head back down on his pillow and closed his eyes, only to once again meet the image in his mind of Misty's angry glare. Ash's eyes flashed open once again. "Pikachu, do you think Misty's lying in bed awake, just like I am right now? Do you think she's thinking about me right now, just like how I'm thinking about her?" Ash asked in just barely a whisper.

His Pikachu gave no reply, but instead just sat there, blinking up at him. Ash couldn't blame the poor thing. If Misty _was_ thinking about him right now, she was probably thinking about the broken promise. What a way to spend Christmas. Not only did Ash not want his Christmas to be like this, he also didn't want Misty's Christmas to be like this.

Ash sighed. "Pikachu, I have to apologize to her. To Misty, I mean." He said firmly. "And the sooner I apologize to her, the better. I'm going to check if she's awake or not." And with this Ash stood up and quietly walked out of his room, his Pikachu carefully following. Time seemed to stand still as he stood there, staring at the door to the guest room, hardly daring to breathe. With one trembling hand he took a hold of the doorknob. _'Calm down, Ash. There's a good chance that Misty's asleep, and you don't want to wake her up if she is.'_ Yes, this was true. Misty was probably asleep. Then why was he doing this? An image of Misty peacefully sleeping with the covers tightly wrapped around her waist and her silky orange hair lying limp at her shoulders appeared in Ash's mind. There was no time to give himself the answer to his own question, for he felt himself slowly turn the doorknob and pull the door open. Ash carefully took a single step into the room, trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness.

Misty's bed was empty.

Ash felt his stomach drop. "Misty went downstairs, Pikachu." Ash said quietly. He hoped he hadn't said that too fast. He hoped that his voice didn't sound scared and frightened. Yes, of course. That's all it was. Misty had woken up and decided to go downstairs, perhaps to look at the Christmas tree. _'Believe your own words, Ash. Please believe them.'_ He told himself. But he couldn't hide that dreaded feeling in his heart.

Ash stepped out of the guest room, not bothering to shut the door behind him. He raced down the stairs, shattering the silence that had been choking him the whole time. He didn't even stop to gaze out the window at the heavy snowfall getting rougher as the seconds quickly ticked by. He only stopped when he reached the living room, the lights on the Christmas tree glowing throughout the room. Misty obviously wasn't downstairs, either. Ash felt his stomach drop even more. Where was she?!

That's when he turned his head to look out the window. He didn't notice the snow, but instead the footprints etched throughout the snow. Ash's breath was taken away.

_"The main part of the snowstorm will soon be coming in, maybe causing some white-out conditions."_

"Pikachu, you stay here." Ash softly told his pokemon, searching the closet for his winter supplies, ignoring the fact that he was still in his pajamas.

"Pika?" Came Pikachu's frantic reply. Ash paused for a moment to stare at the electric mouse, and then turned his head to once again gaze out the window.

"I'm going to get Misty."

* * *

Time seemed to go by so slowly. Yet there it was. The store. And its lights were on too. I could've shouted out in joy. By now I wanted to reach the store not only to find a gift for Ash, but also to escape from the deadly cold. But of course I didn't. Instead I ran as fast as I could through the snow, towards the store's front doors.

My heart seemed to leap up to my throat as I halted to a stop.

_"Closed for electrical repairs. Have a happy holiday!"_

I just stood there for a moment, staring at the blood-red sign in disbelief. The lights inside the store were on, weren't they? If the store was closed, they should've been off. And if they were having electric problems, the lights shouldn't be on anyways. What was going on?!

I rested my forehead against the window of the door and closed my eyes as a sudden gust of cold wind raced through my tangled hair, sending large snowflakes sweeping down from the sky. The snowfall had turned into a snowstorm during the time it took for me to walk here. It was freezing cold. The store was closed. I still didn't have a Christmas present for Ash. And today was Christmas.

I choked out a small sob as I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I wanted to cry my eyes out right then and there. Yet that single tear was the only thing that escaped out as I slowly trudged over to the bench by the store and brushed off the snow that had been lying on it. I sat down on it and hugged my knees to my chest. That's when the rest of the tears came out.

"I'm just going to sit here forever in the snow." I sobbed. "I'm just going to sit here until I freeze to death. Then Ash will be happy." I sniffed and stared out at the snowflakes racing towards the ground. The moon had disappeared. "Then this will be a Christmas everyone will remember. It will be known as the Christmas stupid idiotic Misty died on, alone, with a broken heart as her only companion." I buried my head between my knees this time.

_"Misty!"_

The familiar male voice seemed to echo through my ears as my head shot up to stare out at the figure emerging in the distance. I opened my mouth to cry back in reply, but nothing came out. I only watched as the figure came even closer. _Ash?!_ I stood up, gawking. Had he actually come all the way from his house in the blizzard just to find me?

"Ash..." I whispered softly. Ash continued running through the heavy snow, only coming to a stop once he reached me. He bent over, staring at the ground while breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath.

"Because of all the new snow I was starting to not be able to see your footprints and-

"Ash." I repeated yet again, interrupting him. I didn't know what I was feeling, only that I got the incredible urge to do something, _anything_. And so I did. I ran up to him, ignoring the snow prickling my face, and flung my arms around him with all the force I could carry. I felt my stomach leap to my throat as we both lost our balance and tumbled backwards into the snow. I hastily let go of him and stood back up, not bothering to brush the snow off my hair.

"Ash!" I repeated for the third time, except this time I was louder. I wanted to say his name over and over again until I died. "Why did you go outside in this blizzard to get me?! It's my own stupid fault I'm out here. It's my own stupid fault I haven't bought you a Christmas present yet!"

"You came out here because you hadn't bought me a single Christmas present?" Ash asked softly, standing up to look into my eyes. Why did he have to do this to me? I didn't want to see that hurt look in his eyes ever again. That was why I didn't bother to search for a hidden emotion in that look he was giving me.

I started sobbing yet again. Why, of all times, did I have to cry right now? "Yes, I didn't, okay?! I'm sorry! I just... I just couldn't find the right gift for you no matter how hard I looked. And now look at me!" I said. "Look at me!" I repeated, shouting my lungs out. "I've been such a jerk towards you, and today's Christmas!"

There was silence.

Then Ash finally spoke. "Misty, I don't care if you don't buy me any gifts for Christmas. _You_ are all I'll ever want for Christmas. You yourself is a gift I couldn't live without." He whispered softly.

"But Ash..." I replied. I wasn't sure what else to say. Why was he being so kind towards me?

"I had to repair a broken promise, didn't I?" Ash said, smiling.

Of course.

I didn't know whether to laugh or sob even harder. Instead I just stepped backwards and sat on the bench, continuing to gawk at Ash. He sat down next to me. For some reason I couldn't feel the deadly cold anymore. The only thing I felt was the shy warmth that was spreading throughout my body.

"Ash, I'm sorry." I said softly.

"But Misty, I already told you-

"No, I'm not talking about that." I told Ash, sighing. "I'm sorry for breaking the promise. I broke it too, you know. You have no idea of the secrets I've been hiding from you all of these years."

"Oh." Ash said simply, staring at the ground. We just sat there for a moment in nervous silence. I took a deep shuddering breath.

"Ash, when a promise made together is broken, you can't have only one person attempt to repair it. You need both of them to repair it." I told him. My face grew into a soft yet nervous smile. I couldn't help it. The words that I had been dying to tell Ash for years now were about to come to life. I could already feel them forming at the tip of my tongue. I couldn't hear the sound of the wind racing through my tangled hair anymore, but instead the one single sentence etched in my mind.

"I love you, Ash."

The silence seemed to last forever as Ash gazed into my eyes. But I couldn't feel it choking me this time. Instead I felt a mixture of relief and pride surge through my veins. A third emotion was lurking inside my heart too, but I couldn't make it out.

I felt a wave of warmness race down my spine as Ash put is arm around me. "I love you too, Misty." He whispered into my ear.

I rested my head against Ash's shoulder and closed my eyes. "Merry Christmas." I whispered back.

I thought back to Ash's words about how he didn't care if I bought him any Christmas gifts, and that he only cared about being with me. Just sitting here with him, alone, I could say the same thing. Every Christmas I had enjoyed opening my presents from Ash and watching him eagerly open his presents from me. But not a single Christmas had ever felt like this before. There were both the things that I could feel, and the things that I couldn't feel. I couldn't feel the cold sharp prickles on my face from the blizzard anymore. But I _could_ feel Ash's arm around me.

"Misty?"

"Yea?"

"We're sitting under a poisonous plant."

I blinked my eyes open, a sudden sleepy feeling drowning my thoughts, and looked up. Where there was a long wooden pole above us, mistletoe hung covered in a thin sheet of snow.

"I never knew mistletoe was poisonous." I said, yawning.

Ash grinned. "Yea, it is." He replied. "But only if you eat it."

I had a sudden urge to close my eyes and fall asleep right then, but I managed to stay awake. "I wonder why they have people kiss under a poisonous plant." I said softly, gazing at the snow now fluttering from the sky. It seemed to have gotten lighter.

"Misty?"

"Yea?"

"We're sitting underneath it. The mistletoe, I mean."

There was silence as I felt my face seem to burn and prickle. I felt myself get dizzy as the whole world seemed to spin. Was it because I was so tired? Or perhaps it was because of something else, something I always had the urge to do whenever I saw Ash's soft face smiling down at me. He took his other hand that wasn't around me and held my chin up slightly so that I stared directly into his eyes. I felt Ash's face get closer to mine as he slowly closed his eyes. I couldn't bare to watch, yet excitement swelled up in my chest. I closed my eyes too.

Then I felt it. Coldness and warmth mixed into one soft light touch on my lips. It felt like a dream that you'd never want to wake up from. But that was the thing - it wasn't a dream. It was as real as anything. Ash's words. His arm around me. The kiss. _Everything._ I opened my eyes as we separated. A wide grin was etched on Ash's face and on mine too.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Misty."

I wanted to laugh and sob all at the same time. But I didn't. Instead I once again rested my head against Ash's shoulder and closed my eyes.

"What time is this blizzard supposed to end?" I asked softly.

"About 2:30am." Ash answered.

I didn't even bother to look at my watch to see what time it was. Maybe because I was too tired. No, of course not. It was because I didn't care if the blizzard lasted forever, for I wanted this moment with Ash to last forever. Just us two, sitting here on the bench outside, underneath the mistletoe. What had started as a light magical snowfall and then turned into a heavy deadly blizzard was now the magical snowfall again.

The last thing I felt myself whisper was Ash's name, and then I fell asleep.

But not for long.

"Misty." Ash whispered softly into my ear a moment later. "Misty, wake up."

I blinked my eyes open sleepily and stretched. "What is it?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. Good. Everything hadn't been a dream.

"It's past two thirty in the morning. Three, to be exact. The blizzard is over." Ash answered.

I smiled. "Let's go home." I whispered.

Ash nodded. "Yes." He agreed. "_Our_ home." And with that we both stood up and started trudging our way through the snow towards Ash's house, holding hands.

What had seemed like an hour trip towards the stores at one in the morning seemed very short now, with us two heading towards home. We didn't say anything the whole time. Instead we just smiled. I wondered was Ash was thinking about. I opened my mouth to finally say something, but closed again at the sight of the front door standing right in front of us. Ash fiddled with some keys in his coat pocket and then unlocked the door, stepping inside the house full of warmth. We were greeted by the sight of Dellila, Brock, and Ash's Pikachu.

"Ash! Misty!" Dellila cried out as she gripped us both in a tight hug. "Brock told me you'd both be okay as long as you stayed together, but I... I was so worried about you!" She said in one long breath. She stepped back. Her eyes wandered down to our hands which were clasped around each other. Eventually Brock and Pikachu saw us holding hands too. Everything was silent as a mix of wonder and relief filled everyone's faces.

Finally, Ash spoke. He only said three words, but nobody cared. Today was the best day of my life.

"Merry Christmas everyone."


End file.
